When I was at Fiat Lux this afternoon, printing out more posters about Ginny, the secretary there said, "John, the police called. They want you to call them back." I couldn't get to the phone fast enough. My head filled with all sorts of hopeful thoughts, such as, "I'm sorry you had to go through this, but she's fine. We found her." I dialed the number, and my little fantasies were blown away when I heard the words "Medical Examiner's Office."
"Do you mean the morgue?" I asked.
"Yes, sir."
"Oh God," I was shaking. "Can I speak with Inspector LeDuke?"
A woman picked up, "Inspector LeDuke speaking."
"This is John Stanton. Did you find Ginny?" I asked.
"Oh, hello John," she said. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but can you come down here? We found a body."
"Where are you?"
"Eight-fifty Bryant, in the basement. Ask for LeDuke."
Inspector LeDuke
I ran out of Fiat Lux, my anger building. I slammed my fist down on the hood and cut my hand. I gunned it onto Third Street, and a dawdling pedestrian cut me off. "Asshole," I yelled. "Get the fuck out of my way." I tried to pull onto Bryant, which turned out to be one-way, the wrong way. "Goddamn it," I screamed, "You fucking idiot. What the fuck are you doing?"
I arrived at 850 Bryant in a rage, and found the morgue. "I'm looking for someone named LeDuke."
"I'm Inspector LeDuke," said a woman in civilian clothes. She looked about my age. "John Stanton?"
"Yeah. You think it's Ginny?"
"I think you need to be prepared for it to be Ginny."
"Oh."
"This is going to be hard, okay? You don't know how you're going to react. You might throw up. You might faint," she said. "Even if it's not Ginny, you might react strongly."
The doctor spoke next. "The body is completely covered. We're going to pull the tray out of the wall and uncover just the face. All you have to do is say yes or no."
The Body
I followed them toward one side of the room, which was covered with small chrome doors. They picked door number five. The latches made a loud snapping sound and the door swung open with a long slow creak. Vapor appeared and then a disgusting smell hit me. All the way to the morgue I was convinced that it wasn't going to be Ginny, but I knew the minute the door latches snapped open that she was inside.
"Ready?" Inspector LeDuke asked, nodding to the doctor. He pulled back the black plastic. I can't even really say what it was I saw. The face was kind of grey, green, familiar, and supernatural at the same time.
"Oh god," I said, gagging. The doctor shoved a bowl under my chin and I threw up half on him and half in the bowl.
"Sorry," I said. I starting to cry. They brought me a chair.
"Here, sit," LeDuke said. "Is that Ginny Kim?"
"Yes."
"I'm very sorry," she said.
Picture Your Worst Case Scenario
Suddenly I found myself calm and wanting details. Anyone who has spent time searching for someone they love can tell you that the final news is such a relief that it's numbing. Not knowing is a constant pressure on the nerves. There is a feeling like "I could be doing more," or "I could have done something yesterday." Now I didn't have to think that way.
"What happened?" I asked.
"We found her in a storage container down below China Basin," said the policewoman.
"How did she die?" I asked, looking back at her.
"We'll know after the autopsy."
"Well, how do you think she died?"
"I'm not trying to be rude, but it's useless to speculate until the coroner gives a report."
"When will that be?"
"Tonight. Call back around 7 p.m." she said, "Do you have somewhere to go now?"
"Yeah, I got a friend in San Francisco. Oh shit, do her parents know?"
"I'll call them," she said. "Go home."
I was getting on the elevator when she called after me, "Oh John, we'll need to talk tomorrow."
"Yeah, sure." As I walked to the car it dawned on me that I was a possible suspect. Fuck, I thought, I can't fucking believe this shit. God, poor Ginny. What the hell happened to you Ginny? I'm sorry. I was asleep on the couch. I'm sorry. I hope you didn't call. I called my friend Bobby from a pay phone.
"John, what's up? Any news?"
"I'm coming to your place." I said, "They found her. She's dead."
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| copyright © 1997 Big Story |